Setting Boundaries as a Therapist Around the Holidays
As we enter Q4 (yikes!) and the holiday season nears, you’re likely booking through to the end of the year. With this in mind, setting boundaries around your therapy practice is important. Because just as your clients need time with loved ones and time away from work so, too, do you.
So, let’s talk about how to set healthy boundaries during the holiday season. But before we dive into establishing boundaries, it’s important to know why this time of year might require some additional thought.
Prioritizing your time
Prioritizing quality time with family and friends and focusing on your mental health matters greatly.
Many busy therapists say “yes” when they’d rather say “no.” They work long hours to support the health of their clients. Mornings start early, lunch is skipped, and nights run longer than planned. Therapists often submit to second place because client needs are great.
The importance of the holiday season, then, is two-fold. A chance to stop, rest, and reset. And a chance to prioritize non-clinical relationships.
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The holiday season allows you to shift your focus to loved ones. Time spent with family and friends at festive dates, religious events, and catch-ups and downtime are crucial. Precious moments and memories exist here. Moments that can escape attention during the hubbub of the year.
The holiday season also provides space to reestablish balance. To rejuvenate after a long, hard year. To step off the treadmill and reassess … Provided you establish professional boundaries.
Boundaries tell others what you expect and what they can expect of you. They set the groundwork for what lays ahead and what doesn’t. They speak to what you are responsible for and what you are not. Boundaries help to keep you healthy and functional.
In the holiday season, as clients grapple with change (and some increased stress), your reduced availability may require boundary enforcement. Boundary enforcement is necessary for your well-being.
You might…
- Close your practice early two evenings per week. To provide time for long, lovely dinners with loved ones you’ve not seen much during the year. To say a guilt-free yes to catch ups with friends or tick holiday shopping off your list. To prioritize silly time with visiting interstate grandkids. To break the habit of always being “on” and in work mode.
- Reduce your available daytime consults to attend festivities during usual work hours, like a child’s performance.
- Lessen the time you allow people to contact you so you can be fully present with family and friends.
- Schedule time away from practice altogether; a much-needed holiday to rejuvenate and relax.
Clients may find these changes difficult and try to overstep the mark. So, particularly if you are usually very available — if you tend to maintain poor professional boundaries — altering your availability and sticking to your guns can jar; both yourself and your clients.
If this is the case, consider this a learning experience; a way to kick off next year with firmly established limits. Importantly, maintaining definite boundaries can be a working example for your clients to follow.
Before we look at setting and communicating your boundaries effectively, I want to discuss how to structure your schedule. When done effectively, this will reduce the need to enforce your boundaries.
How to structure your schedule to optimize your holiday season
Your holiday season should be just that: your holiday season. You deserve happiness and relaxation as much as the next person. To ensure this occurs, take time to create a structure.
Begin this process by deciding on your priorities. What do you want and need? What events would you love to attend? What days do you wish to take off?
Then, consider your clients. No, not their wants and desires but their actual needs. Use this knowledge to determine your goals.
Tip: In our article, How To Set Goals To Supercharge Your Practice Success, we share a potent goal-setting framework that effortlessly produces successful outcomes.
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Once you decide on your goals, it’s time to implement them. Let’s use an example. Imagine two early closures per week for three weeks from the start of December, then two weeks away before Christmas into the new year.
If Monday and Wednesday afternoons are usually your busiest, consider shortening Tuesday and Friday afternoons… If this also suits your plans.
If you have an event on a set date, block it out in your books well ahead of time. This will prevent the need to reschedule and any associated headaches.
For time away, commit this to your diary and communicate your plans early.
Tip: As a therapist, the balance lies in prioritizing yourself at least as much as your clients. Do not relinquish your needs. Plan well, set boundaries, and communicate effectively.
How to set boundaries and communicate your expectations with clients
Great, you’ve planned and structured your holiday season! Perfect. Now comes the next step. As a therapist, you must remain in compassionate control; yes, this includes boundaries.
To set and communicate your boundaries with clients…
Set an accurate schedule
As I mentioned above, when you set your schedule consider what you and your clients need. During the decision-making process you must prioritize your physical and psychological health.
That said, the holiday season can do funny things to us, humans. As a therapist you might be tempted to squeeze clients in. Your clients may try to push the envelope; to secure a consultation that you don’t have the capacity to offer.
So, decide on an accurate schedule and stick to it. This will set expectations and help you maintain boundaries with yourself and your clients.
Set expectations early
The sooner you set expectations — like your schedule, availability, and time away from practice — the earlier clients can plan and adapt.
Communicate your holiday hours in advance
When clients know what to expect over the holiday season, surprises are removed. Consultations can be secured. Alternatives can be made. The expectation of what is to come can provide surety and ease.
Address breached boundaries
Acquire the habit of promptly addressing breached boundaries. For example, if a client wishes to schedule an out-of-hours consultation, remind them of your holiday schedule.
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Establish an emergency protocol
Consider the worst case scenario for a client. Set a protocol promptly, well before a crisis occurs. Share it with your network in advance of the holiday season.
For example, if you know and trust a therapist who will work through the holiday season, reach out to them. Ask if your clients can contact them in an emergency. If yes, request their preferred contact details and their expectations. If not, identify other resources.
Communicate the emergency protocol in advance. This way vulnerable clients know the steps to take should an emergency arise. They also understand your boundaries during the holiday season. The protocol ensures that should things go awry, no-one is left in the lurch. In this way, undue pressure can be avoided for all involved.
Learn to communicate a firm, gracious “no”
With established expectations there is less of a chance that you’ll need to refuse a request. However, be prepared in case the situation arises.
Communicate your office hours and expectations in writing
Post your holiday season schedule and expectations on your website, your social media and distribute by email. For face-to-face clients, you can print and share a copy.
Provide a limited response window
Today’s world is a 24-7-365 communication superhighway. Emails, social media messages, and texts can be sent at any time. But, it is your choice how you navigate the tech terrain. You do not have to (nor should you) respond on someone else’s clock.
I recommend providing a limited response window. That is, respond to client communication within your practice hours.
Use out-of-office replies
Use an email responder; an automatic, preset email reply. This is best practice for therapists.
How does this work?
When an email is received, a preset response is automatically delivered to the sender communicating relevant information.
For example:
“Thanks, I have received your email. I respond between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm Monday to Friday.”
“Thanks for reaching out. I return emails between the hours 9-10 am and 3-4 pm on weekdays. I will be in touch then.”
“Thanks for your email. I am currently working reduced hours over the holiday season. I will return your email on (date).”
“Thanks for your email. I’m currently taking time away. I return to practice on (date). You will hear from me then. If you are facing a crisis, please (X, Y, Z – your emergency protocol). Enjoy your holiday season.”
Include whatever information you deem helpful and appropriate.
Switch off. Literally!
You must have a structured way to separate professional from personal communication. If you do not have a business phone number and email it’s past time.
Once you leave your practice for the night, the weekend, or for the holidays, turn the notifications and sound off. You deserve personal time. Cherish and prioritize it!
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Consider how you use your social media accounts
If you share mostly personal posts on your page, think twice about connecting with clients via your personal profile. Doing so provides easy access and another way to contact you.
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If your personal page is, in truth, dedicated to expanding your reach, celebrity, and attracting clients, this may be an important avenue for others to “follow” you. This can aid practice growth and be worthwhile.
That said, regardless of the way you use social media do not allow breached boundaries via these platforms.
The takeaway
The holiday season is a time to relax, rejuvenate, and reset. To enjoy time with loved ones and rest after a long, hard year. But as you move toward this important annual watershed, others may push you to say yes when you need to say no. To take on more than you desire. This is where firm, compassionate limits come in.
So, consider and decide on your holiday structure. Communicate well. Then stand by your boundaries. You deserve this special time. And through your example, you clients will learn how boundaries can be set and compassionately enforced.
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