Perry: Before we get started with today’s episode, I want to take a minute and read some five star reviews we have on iTunes. If you have gotten value out of this show and really love what’s been shared so far, we would so appreciate you taking a few minutes and heading on over to iTunes and writing us a review. Every few weeks we’ll read all our reviews here, just to give a shout out to people who take some time out of their day to get back to the podcast by sharing a review.
First up, on March 30th, “As a fellow podcaster from Make a Mental Note I wholeheartedly endorse this podcast series. What a wonderful way for young therapists to learn about the world of private practice. Keep up the good work, Perry.” And unfortunately their name was just listed as CJQDP.
Next podcast review, another five star, “I look forward to listening to the therapist experience every week. I absolutely love the website tips in the middle of the podcast. Super helpful. I also enjoy hearing about the entrepreneurial journey of other therapists. Great job, Perry.” Thank you so much.
On April 27th another five star review, “These podcasts are amazing. I love hearing about how therapists get started. There are some great advice, especially in the Therapist Experience episode number 12. Loved hearing about Margaret Thompson’s journey.”
From May 3rd, “Inspiring. I am only one month into private practice and only graduated four months ago.” Congratulations. “There is so much to learn. These podcasts have been just what I needed to inspire and energize me to press forward. I love the knowledge, authenticity, and inspiration offered in each one. Perry asks questions that I want to ask.” Wohoo, ” I often find myself going and looking up more about the therapist and trying at least one of the tips that are in the podcasts. These podcasts have helped me keep going when I got discouraged and was out of ideas. Thank you Brighter Vision.”
Thank you again to all five of the people who took some time out of their day to write a review and if you have a few minutes we would love for you to go write a review as well over on iTunes. When you do write a review please make sure to leave your name so we can give you a shout out here on the next podcast episode that we go over some of our five stars review. Alright, that does it for now, now on to your regularly scheduled program.

Perry: In this episode of the therapist experience, I’m speaking with Melissa Fritchle from Conscious Sexual Self. This is The Therapist Experience episode number 14. Welcome to The Therapist Experience. The podcast where we interview successful therapists about what it’s really like growing a private practice. I’m Perry Rosenbloom, the founder of Brighter Vision, and I’m so excited to introduce our guest today Melissa Fritchle from Conscious Sexual Self.. Melissa, are you prepared to share your therapist experience?

Melissa: I am. It sounds like it will be a great time.

Perry: Alright, we’re so excited to have you here Melissa. Melissa has a vibrant private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist, sex therapist, and sex educator in Santa Cruz, California. her focus is holistic, always honoring the integration of the mind, body, spirit, and diversity. She is adjunct faculty for two bay area graduate programs and counseling psychology. And travels in US and internationally to provide workshops and trainings. In 2011 she was awarded the sexual intelligence award for her groundbreaking work providing sex positive training for counselors and caregivers in Uganda. This year Melissa worked in Kenya with a group of priests and nuns addressing sex-positive approaches to sexual issues within the clergy. Melissa is the author of the ‘Conscious Sexual Self-Work Book’ and writes an ongoing blog on sex and relationships. Melissa, I gave a little overview of you there but why don’t you take a minute, fill in the gaps from that introduction, and tell us a little bit more about you personally and about your practice?

Melissa: Okay. I used to be a massage therapist. I did that for seven years working with people who were serious athletes or had chronic pain issues. So most of my clients then I saw weekly and I was finding I was talking to them and we were having very deep conversations that spanned years of their lives in some cases and got really excited about psychotherapy, and the benefits that we can provide people by listening to their stories and offering the compassionate viewer to them, in a sense. So I went back to graduate school and studied holistic counseling psychology, and it really lit me up, and it was exciting. And I decided to start a private practice once I finished my interning time. And sex therapy became a part of it because I’ve been working at Women’s Crisis Support in their sexual assault department and I’m seeing more and more clients come to me who are saying that they dealt with the trauma, and the betrayal, and the fear of their sexual trauma. But no one was available to help them now rebuild their sexuality and talk about sex and pleasure, and sex as a positive part of their life. That took me down the path into doing sex therapy as my specialty. And I did a special internship in that, and a special internship in gender studies and working with transgender clients. So it’s all been amazing. I feel really lucky to be a part of this field, so I’m excited to talk to your audience about that.

Perry: Fantastic. That’s such a comprehensive introduction there. You sort of addressed my next question here but I’d love to hear more about you. How you transitioned from massage therapy into private practice? When you went to school and went back to becoming mental health professional, after you graduated did you work directly in trauma centers then working with women? Or how did that transition happen? Did you go straight into private practice?

Melissa: No. During my intern years I worked at Women’s Crisis Support, Defensa De Mujeres, which was at Santa Cruz at that time. And I was working with their sexual assault department. And I worked there for few years. So it was women who experienced domestic violence or sexual abuse as children or sexual assaults in their adult life. And we provided free therapy for them, it was a really beautiful program. So I did that, and I also as an intern worked at school sites. I worked at a high school as a crisis counselor for a year and then at an elementary middle school as a counselor for a year, which helped to get the broad perspective of our different needs throughout our life cycle, which was really helpful.

Perry: How did your years being a massage therapist influence the way you approached therapy?

Melissa: I think so much. It definitely has fed into the way that I see human experience and human emotion. I mean, as a massage therapist I felt people’s emotions in their bodies. And the ways that our bodies change and hold things. And I could feel when people were fearful and people were struggling, the way that their body responded to that. So that inspired me to study holistic psychology which included somatics. So I use movement, I use breath, I help people connect to their physical experience. Because I definitely have a belief that change doesn’t happen unless the body believes that change has happened. So we have to get the body online with our mind, with our emotions and with what’s going on in our lives. So it’s definitely impacted me as a therapist.

Perry: And Melissa how long have you been in private practice for?

Melissa: I think it’s six or seven years now.

Perry: Congratulations.

Melissa: After four years as an intern, yeah.

Perry: Melissa, let’s go back to a point in your career as a therapist, where you could have called it quits, where you were as low as you can possibly be in your journey in private practice. And you were just ready to throw in the towel. We’ve all been there as entrepreneurs, right? I know at least half dozen I can count and I keep getting them every so often. So let’s take us back to that time and share with us that experience and how you overcame that?

Melissa: Well, I definitely hit a point, I remember, a few years ago where I just wasn’t sure I was going to be able to make a decent living and it was very scary. It’s a lot harder to build a practice than I thought it would be. I had a private practice and a business as a massage therapist so I felt like I was going into it very well in forms, but in truth, building a private practice as a psychotherapist is very different.

Perry: How so?

Melissa: It’s harder to get people to commit. They’re much more scared to come and try therapy then they are to try massage. Most people.

Perry: That makes sense.

Melissa: Yeah. I could go places and give free massages to people and get clients, where you can’t just kind of go and give free therapy at a public event in the same sort of way. And committing to come to therapy usually means that there’s an ongoing commitment. I don’t see people weekly that often, but usually every other week. There’s some consistency that people are committing to. And that’s very different than a lot of businesses. So that required me to have a longer view lens than it did when I was starting a business as a massage therapist. And really, there’s sort of consistency around someone might book with you three months, three years down the line, and you’re really building in that way. So it does take that long-term commitment that I think is different than other businesses that you might start. So there were definitely moments where I thought I don’t know if I can wait long enough. I should be making enough money to feel like my business is growing. And I appreciate that you ask this question because I think it’s something that a lot of people don’t talk about honestly.

Perry: It’s so challenging to feel that way. To feel, “Am I actually going to be able to make this? Am I going to be able to make this work?” And even with Brighter Vision for so long there was– We’re essentially a software as a service company, and there’s a saying in SAS, software as a service, called, “The long slow ramp of death.” Because the idea is with SAS everything compound. So when we only had 15-20 clients or 100 clients we were barely able to pay the bills, but we managed to do it. And I think the same thing goes with psychotherapy. If you’re building those relationships with people, they might kind of see you for a session but they’re not ready to commit to therapy yet. It can be that long slow ramp where you have to figure out how are you going to make ends meet during that period of time. So I completely relate with that there. What would you say were some skills as an entrepreneur building a private massage therapy practice that you were able to translate over to building a private practice as a psychotherapist?

Melissa: I mean, the biggest skill really is being incredibly good at what you do.

Perry: That goes a long way, right?

Melissa: Right, it goes a long way. I believe in providing a quality service and bonding and treating your clients well because the truth is, as you said, there’s an exponential growth because every client that is happy and goes out there and refers you– They can refer five people to you and it just grows, and grows, and grows that way. And they may tell their other therapists or their other doctors that you were good and those referral sources grow. That was definitely the same with massage therapy as psychotherapy, as I really felt like I need to show up and do my best job and really focus on honing my skill, being good at what I do. And that helps me get through those moments where there was doubt. I mean, that can also be part of what’s heartbreaking is to be like, “I love what I do and I’m putting my all into it. And I feel like I’m really good and, oh my gosh, am I going to be able to make this work as a business?” It’s heartbreaking.

Perry: How did you overcome that fear and that anxiety of, “Am I going to be able to make this work?”

Melissa: Some of it was just fully the leap of faith. Just continually making the leap of faith and saying, “I’m not at a point right now where I have to call it quits. I can keep going so I will.” And throw yourself into it again, 100%. And just keep moving forward. I also think counter-intuitively the things that really helped me get through those times of doubt were focusing on other areas of my life that were rich and happy and beautiful, and sometimes letting myself step back a little and say, “My business will grow as I am a happy person. As I’m able to show up with good energy. With positive energy for myself.” And allowing myself to step away a little bit. It was also very helpful in getting through those times.

Perry: There’s a quote that I think really resonates with me based off of this chat we’re having. It’s something that I hold near and dear personally and it’s by the great Woody Allen. And it’s, “80% of success is showing up.”

Melissa: Yeah.

Perry: You just got to show up every day. You got to plow through, you got to dig deep inside yourself and figure out, “I’m going to show up to work, I’m going to do a great job. I know I’m great at what I do and if I just keep showing up every single day and power through those tough times, I will be successful.”

Melissa: Yes. And it feels good to show up.

Perry: It really does.

Melissa: And that helps a lot.

Perry: And then once you get your first few clients from showing up every day, or you get new referral source or new marketing initiative you just launched actually works. Man does that feel good or what?

Melissa: It’s great. It’s really great. And to feel like you developed these long-term relationships. One of the places where I started to feel like I was more in the flow and I constructed trust to my business more is when I had clients who maybe ended with me three years ago and are calling me back three years later to work on a different life issue now because they still remembered me and they wanted to come back to me. And I thought, well, as that’s happening and I’m getting new clients just it really does grow exponentially. Which I was told, and it’s hard to believe that in those darker moments where things are really slow, but it’s true. Each year it gets easier and it gets bigger and it blooms in that way.

Perry: I love that analogy of your business blooming. So Melissa, you’ve come such a long way from those dark moments of, you were just not being sure if it’s going to work or not. And one thing that we often see therapists struggle with in the early days and even some therapists who’ve been in business in private practice for years is with actually pricing themselves well. Would you mind sharing with our audience what your current hourly rate is to see clients? Give us a little insight in your journey to that rate?

Melissa: Okay. My current hourly rate is 130 dollars an hour, and that was based on the fact that I have a specialty that is rare. Being a sex therapist is pretty rare. There’s not a lot of us around. And I put a lot of time and energy into that as a specialty. But it’s also not the most that I could charge. I feel like I live in a community in which a lot of people have creative alternative careers and they also have a lot of other things that they can do for their health that I encourage, such as dance and acupuncture, yoga, and those kinds of things. So I feel like it’s a good hourly rate right now that a lot of people don’t flinch at but it’s also not feeling like I’m charging the most that I could possibly charge if I was over on Silicon Valley or things like that. So yeah, it feels like it’s been a comfortable rate.

Perry: And then if you were over at Silicon Valley you’d be seeing different type of clientele as well and different kind of needs. Your niche works really well in your marketplace. Being able to price yourself well, and most important thing that I learned with– Not the most important but– Well, actually yeah. The most important thing that I learned after speaking with therapists on the Therapist Experience is the importance of actually having a niche. Being able to say who your target clientele is and being able to effectively communicate that. And that allows you to price yourself much more easily and much more fairly. Fair to you and fair to your clients. The fact that you have a niche has worked really well for you and I’m really glad to see that.

Melissa: Yeah. There’s other considerations for me. I don’t direct bill insurance. Everyone’s paying me out of pockets which I prefer for variety of reasons.

Perry: Certainly less paperwork, right?

Melissa: There’s less paperwork, but in truth a lot of it for me is that if I’m direct billing insurance companies the insurance companies control the confidentiality of the client. So it really can take away the confidentiality pocket of the client therapist relationship that I hold as very important, crucial to it. So not direct billing insurance allows me to really feel like we have a clear pocket of confidentiality that isn’t going to be infringed upon by another organization.

Perry: That’s a really fascinating point. I’ve never heard someone tell us that is the reason they don’t take insurance. That’s a really fascinating point and something that, yeah, I think it is really immensely valuable and a way to also just position yourself in the market. To be able to tell your clients about how much you value their confidentiality and be able to– That might make it easier for them to accept the fact that you don’t take insurance as well.

Melissa: I think it does and I think, also again, I feel the sexuality is one of the more vulnerable fields. Some people do really care about their confidentiality. And at least half of my work as couples therapy work, which is rarely covered by insurance anyway. Those were definitely factors in my decision, but I do think the medical model of the insurance system hasn’t really found its way to become a great fit with psychotherapy. There’s still a lot of things that don’t quite fit. Hahaha.

Perry: We’ve touched on a lot of different topics here Melissa, but one word I don’t think I’ve heard mentioned yet is something that we find therapists struggle with all the time and that’s with actually marketing their business. Or they feel that marketing and sales is kind of like a dirty word. But there’s really no way that you can grow a thriving private practice like you have without marketing. So I love to hear, I’d love for you to share with our audience what you feel was the single best marketing move that you made for your practice and why do you feel like it worked so well?

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like the very best move I made was looking up other professionals who were preferably linked to the type of work I do, and cold calling them and asking them out for lunch or tea. And definitely I would say half of the people don’t get back to you, but half of them do. And developing really tight colleague relationships with people who– Some of whom are therapists, some of whom are doctors, some of whom are dance or movement teachers or things like that, has been the most effective thing. Because with psychotherapy it really is all about your referrals. People need to know that they can trust you and having people who know you, and like you, and understand your work is really the most important thing.

Perry: That’s gutsy. Pick up the phone and just cold calling.

Melissa: Yeah.

Perry: I’ve tried cold calling a few times to draw up some business and it’s tough.

Melissa: It can be. I mean, I definitely think it has to be from a genuine place of, “I’m interested in your practice and I want to refer to you as well as you refer to me.” And again, I live in a community where there are a lot of small business owners. So sometimes people really appreciate that.

Perry: That’s great. Did you have a script that you would go and read? Did you practice beforehand? If someone was going to start cold calling some practitioners in their area to sort of build a referral network how would you recommend that they go about starting that?

Melissa: Well, first of all I would have them make a list of the type of people that they might refer to based on your practice. So if somebody’s focusing on parenting as their therapy specialty or an area of their practice, their referral sources are going to be very different than mine as a sex therapist. So think about who do you refer to and what are your– What are the points where you don’t have a good referral source? And spend some time looking around your community. Yellow pages, websites, Facebook. And see who fits that profile. Look at their websites… And so then what I’m always doing is I’m saying, “I looked at your website. I really was interested in this aspect. I also do this. Here’s something we share. And I’m wondering if you want to meet and talk about both of our practices so we can cross-refer to each other more effectively.”

Perry: That’s great. And approaching it from the mentality of givers gain, and it’s so true. If you’re just cold calling somebody up and saying, “Hey, can I buy you lunch so you can refer to me?” That’s not going to work too well. But approaching it the way that you structured that conversation, that’s a great script right there for anybody listening to this show who wants to start building up more referral sources. That’s a game plan right there. Figure out who you can refer to, and then follow that script Melissa just gave you. You’re going to get lunch, you’re going to get a lot of lunches scheduled.

Melissa: And, you know what? I also made some of my very best friends in this area from doing that because obviously people who are interested in similar things I am and– That’s a special bonus to it as well.

Perry: You know, back when Brighter Vision wasn’t Brighter Vision. When we were more of a internet marketing company and it was pretty much just me running a whole shop. I was part of a referral network as well. It was sort of like a BNI but it wasn’t structured that way. It had the same structure but it wasn’t as rigid as BNI was. And some of the relationships and the friendships that I’ve made from going to networking group, and I’m not a part of it anymore just because has changed so dramatically, but the friendships that I’ve made from that group I still see some of those people at least once a month getting lunch or coffee with them. And it’s just great to sort of– Especially if you’re just getting started to get that camaraderie of other business professionals out there that you can create a mastermind with or network with, or just have coffee and tea with once every month or so. And just chat with, because they’re going through some similar things that you are. And it’s nice to have that feeling of camaraderie with fellow entrepreneurs.

Melissa: Absolutely. And private business, private practice can be really isolated unless you make an effort to reach out and have consult groups and networking groups, and other professionals that you do meet with regularly. I think it’s a really important part of the process.

Perry: I agree wholeheartedly. So Melissa, I’d love to chat about your schooling. You went to school to become a therapist, not to get your MBA, but you did have experience as an entrepreneur before with your massage therapy practice, and you knew that you wanted to get into private practice. So you approached into private practice as a psychotherapist. So you approached your schooling in a way that I think is a typical– Most people that I’ve spoken with have gone to school and had plan to go into group practice before private practice. So I’d love to hear from you what you feel would be the one thing that you wish you would have learned in school about starting your own business?

Melissa: I mean, the first and most honest answer would be anything at all. We didn’t learn anything about starting a business. So that’s a problem and I feel like a lot of people were not supported in that. And as you said, I at least had already had that experience so I knew what I was going into. I knew how to deal with quarterly taxes and things like that. But I feel like it is a disservice in a lot of graduate programs that they don’t give us a little more insight into what the field is going to look like in general. And I’m conflicted about this because in truth if I had known when I started graduate school that I was going to need to work for several years for free as an intern, I might have been scared off. And that would have been a really sad thing because I love what I do. But I also feel like there’s a lot of people who are looking at graduate programs or just starting graduate programs in psychotherapy here in California are not necessarily given a very clear picture of what’s ahead and what it takes. So I have some conflicts about that.

Perry: If you’re on a podium right now and you’re speaking to those people, what would you tell them?

Melissa: Well, I would say that this is not a field where you’re guaranteed good paying job right away. And whether you want to go into private practice or not, this is an incredibly saturated field in California. And to be aware of that. You’re going to have to market yourself whether you want to work for an agency or community, mental health work, you’re still going to have to market yourself because you’re going to be interviewing with a lot of other people for these jobs. And in private practice you’re going to have to market yourself. So being willing to do that and being willing to put fight into it is going to be an important part of that, if you want to work in California. So that’s one thing I would say. The other thing I would say in terms of just preparing yourself to be a therapist and have a thriving business is, we are not only clinicians and getting to do psychotherapy, but we’re advocates for psychotherapy in the world. So it’s important to learn how to speak about the importance of therapy, and to help people be less afraid of therapy, and to understand the benefits of it. So that is a big piece of the market. We’re not just doing this to sit with our clients one on one. We’re doing this to talk about therapy and spread psychotherapy around the world, potentially. Depending on how big do you want your market, or your voice, or your stage to be. But certainly in your communities. And that’s got to be a part of what you want to do, because people are a little scared of therapy, and they’re not sure that they know what it is. And I joke with my students a lot about you might have an alternate profession that you tell people when you sit next to people on a plane or at a party because when you tell someone you’re a therapist you can get some kind of strange responses sometimes. So to be prepared for that, be prepared that you’re an advocate for an entire field and for the changes in that field because our cultural models of what therapy looks like is not always accurate.

Perry: Melissa you have quite a diverse background and diverse platform. Being an author has allowed you really to get your message out worldwide. Can you share with us a little more about your experience as an author and the book that you wrote?

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely. So I wrote a book called ‘The Conscious Sexual Self-Work Book’ and it’s been based on my years as a sex therapist and as a sex educator which has been a really important part of my teaching. For many years I’ve taught psychotherapists and other healers and counseling professionals about human sexuality which is something I’m really passionate about because, again, I don’t think we as a field have done a great job of educating clinicians about sexuality, which is such a huge part of human life. So the book itself is a work book and it’s based around helping people process their own sexual history, because my approach when I teach therapists about human sexuality is you have to process your own sexuality first to be able to help other people. So it’s helping people get clarity. And the book walks people through childhood memories, relationships with their body, their sexual desires, what it’s like to be with their partner, who they are as a partner. And also some pieces around challenges or traumas that people might have had. So it includes basic sex education, inspirational things, it has quotes from my students and clients about their experiences, and then it has journaling prompts so people are really doing their own self-psychotherapy through journaling in an ice private way for people who don’t want to come into therapy or the groups, or things like that.

Perry: And where can people find ‘The Conscious Sexual Self-Work Book’?

Melissa: It’s available at Amazon and book stores in California like Esalen and some here in Santa Cruz, but Amazon’s your best bet because you can get it overnighted to you. Haha.

Perry: That’s always nice, right?

Melissa: Yes, absolutely.

Perry: And of course, we’ll have links to Melissa’s book and all the resources mentioned on today’s episode over at the show notes for this week which will be found at brightervision.com/session14. Melissa, before we move on to my favorite part of the show we’re going to take a quick break for our weekly website tip from one of Brighter Vision’s lead developers. We’ll be right back.

This week’s website tip comes from Isa Mazzei. A lead developer at Brighter Vision, a worldwide leader in custom therapist website design. To learn more go to www.brightervision.com.

Isa: Last week in session 13 our tip was related to getting your business listed on Google Maps results. But now that you’re listed how do you improve your web ranking? There are few crucial elements. First, your business signals. This can include having important keywords in your business title in Google and even your proximity to the epicenter of that city. To rephrase that, the closer your physical office is to the city center the better chance you have to rank well in Google Maps. Another important signal is your consistency online. It’s crucial that your phone number, business name, and address is the same on Google, My Business, as well as it is on other locations such as Yelp, Yellow Pages, Facebook etc. This means that if you’re a Perry Rosenbloom LMFT as your business name on Google, my business, you want it to be Perry Rosenbloom LMFT on Yellow Pages. Not Perry Rosenbloom marriage and family therapist. Third important signal is social signals. How many Facebook likes does your business page have? Twitter followers? Etc. For this crucial signal is related to links from other websites to yours, and mentions in local publications. But that is entirely another topic and we’ll dive into that more next week. For a full-detailed analysis on the signals used to rank well on Google Maps, you can go to this week’s show notes at www.brightervision.com/session14. We will have links to some of the best resources on this so you can start working on ranking well in Google Maps.

And now back to our conversation with Perry and Melissa.

Perry: Alright Melisa, we’re going to move into the final part of our interview. The part we like to refer to as brighter insights. I really love this part because we’re able to distill down your experience and advice into little sound bites and quick answers that therapists can use to inspire, motivate, and excite them in growing their own private practice. Are you ready Melissa?

Melissa: I’m ready.

Perry: Alright. What or whom inspired you to become a mental health professional?

Melissa: I believe that reading fiction is what inspired me to become a mental health professional. When I look back over time I think that– I was an English major in undergrad but I’ve always been an avid reader of both fiction and non-fiction. But I’ve realized over time that reading fiction was really about getting in other people’s heads and getting to see through their perspective and be wildly curious about other people’s lives and how to experience them, and what moves them, and what changes them along the journey. And I really think that is what inspired me to become a mental health professional. It’s such a gift to be able to see through other people’s eyes to a certain extent.

Perry: That’s a great answer. I’ve never heard that before. It makes sense. If you’re a lover of fiction, that’s great. What is that you do to clear your head and get a fresh start in your day?

Melissa: I need to move and then I need to sit. Those are two pieces for me. I need to move my body. I dance, I like the gym, I like to walk, I like to hike. And then I also meditate. So there’s this balance for me of needing to get the energy moving, get my body awake, let it know that it can move. And then also to sit and clear my head and have some stillness and peace before I start my day is really important for me.

Perry: What are some tools that you’ve used to leverage the power of technology in your private practice, so that technology is no longer a hurdle but instead an asset?

Melissa: Well, of course Square Reader has been wonderful for small business owner. I can take credit cards now, and I’m really impresses with their whole platform. They keep adding new things. So that’s been very helpful. Facebook, of course is incredibly easy platform to do marketing from so I appreciate that. So those are the main things. I have an email newsletter and that’s nice. And cellphones are amazing. Hahaha. You’re talking to someone who can go back to before emails. So all technology has been helpful, so long as I can walk away from it when I need to walk away from it. Which is incredibly important.

Perry: And incredibly difficult. Hahaha. What’s a quote that you hold near and dear? Something that has helped formulate your perspective on life or any quote that has inspired, motivated, or provided guidance for you?

Melissa: It’s the same– And I’m not sure if it’s a quote because I don’t know who said it, but I love the saying, “If you stumble make it part of the dance.”

Perry: That’s great.

Melissa: Yeah. For me as a dancer that’s very moving and important. Just keep going, incorporate it, yeah.

Perry: As an avid reader I’m really excited to hear your response to this question. If you could recommend one book to our audience, of course besides your own book, which is ‘The Conscious Sexual Self-Work Book’. But if you could recommend one book to our audience what would it be and why?

Melissa: I would recommend Pema Chödrön’s ‘The Places That Scare You’. I think it’s an amazing book on helping yourself and then obviously for therapists, to help other people in facing things that are scary and changes that we might not want and had a stake present within that.

Perry: Alright Melissa, last question. If you moved to a new city tomorrow and you didn’t know a single soul there there. And all you had with you was just your computer and 100 dollars to start a new private practice. What is it that you would do on your very first day?

Melissa: I already mentioned it a little bit but I would get the Yellow Pages online and I would start finding other people and make a list of people I wanted to reach out to and start making those cold calls. Start building a community.

Perry: Doing it all over again, right?

Melissa: Right.

Perry: Any parting advice for our listeners, Melissa?

Melissa: I would say just follow the things that you love. Keep going to trainings, keep talking to people, keep yourself inspired, and that makes all the business stuff happen more easily. But you’re going to want to do it because you love it and you’re passionate about it. So feed that part of it, the part that keeps you excited.

Perry: Awesome, I love that. Melissa, where can our listeners find you to connect and learn more about you?

Melissa: My website is www.mf-therapy.com and that has all my contact information. And as I said you can find my book on Amazon and that’s ‘The Conscious Sexual Self-Work Book’. And I also have a great Facebook page that’s really active with information about sex and relationships that also carries my weekly blog, and on Facebook you can look up Conscious Sexual Self or the Facebook actual ID is a Sex Positive Life.

Perry: Fantastic. And again everybody, we’ll have all of these resources that Melissa just mentioned here and all that had been mentioned throughout the show over at brightervision.com/session14. Melissa, thank you so much for being so generous with your time, your expertise, and your knowledge. We appreciate all the great advice that you provided and shared, and the therapist experience you have shared. Thanks again.

Melissa: Thank you so much.

Perry: Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you have a question for us you can email it to us at [email protected] and, of course, if you’re interested in launching a website please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Brighter Vision is the worldwide leader in custom therapist website design. For less than 2 dollars a day you get a website that’s as unique as your practice. Unlimited technical support and complementary SEO so people can find you online. To learn more head on over to brightervision.com and drop us a line through one of our contact forms. That does it for today. Thank you again so much for listening and we’ll catch you next week.